Discussion Time!!!

I give you "unreserved" rights to call me out on this one if it is a lie. This piece is based entirely on my opinion and observations and the reason for the post in itself is to seek education not malice. So I suggest you respectfully pass across your opinions and sheath your swords as necessary......Thanks for your anticipated co-operation...:D

Take a look at BellaNaija's Weddings tab.....go through the Archives.....older posts....What do you notice?(Speaking of which, I believe BellaNaija takes down some of the wedding posts after a while)

I was educating a non-Nigerian about Nigerian weddings the other day. I delved a little into inter-tribal marriages and typically, my go-to place for visual aid was BellaNaija. While I browsed through the pages, I realised this:

For approximately every 5 Yoruba men marrying a Igbo/South-South women, there was only one Igbo/South-South man marrying a Yoruba woman. (at least from the BellaNaija lens and yes, I know that can't be representative of the whole populace)

My question is why is this so?

I typically put Igbo and South-South on the same side not because I think they are precisely the same, but because I think the perception of most people about these two tribes is that they are interchangeable/similar (in comparison with the other tribes). Matter of fact, my question is directed more at the Igbo men.

I believe strongly in this generation because I think it heralds the beginning of the new Nigeria in terms of how we see one another tribally. This is because there are a lot of inter-tribal marriages taking place than before and ultimately, this will lead to a Nigeria with distinct yet very cordial tribes.

However, with my aforementioned observation, it seems a bit one sided. So enlighten me, my Igbo brothers and Yoruba sisters, what is going on between you two? Are you Igbo brothers scared of diluting the clan ni or you just don't want Yoruba wahala? Yoruba sisters, are you people scared of the numerous cultural practices (both true and untrue) that you have managed to hear about them?


Speak to me people, am I alone in my observation?


P.S: I deliberately left the Hausas' out of this whole thing because quite frankly, you and I know they rarely ever ventured out of their tribes for spouses and they don't even seem to be starting anytime soon.

SugaBelly's Language Challenge

My first step towards de-Sanballating myself; a-procastinated-Language-Challenge-Entry.

Here is my entry



Translation: My people, good evening. It is 8:22pm here at HoneyDameVille. I know, I know, don't stone me yet. I know that this language challenge is almost over a year old. However, don't be offended, it is this mountain obstructing my view of that other mountain (a Yoruba proverb to say that I have been busy). I just left verastic.com and I stumbled on her own rendition of the language challenge which she did sometime back. Well, I don't have much to say, save that I just had a really sumptuous meal. It is really not my fault, it is all on Toinlicious. The Amala and Gbegiri meal that I saw on her blog the other day almost got me depressed, but, God is watching over me! (and her!) Just like I had said earlier, I don't have much to say today so, bless!!! :p


If you know that you have yabs for me, let's take it outside!

Moment of Sober Reflection

Lovelife4sale asked me how I was feeling the NY spring feeling weather. NYC would have been a better insert and the operative word should have been "enjoyed". Cos this is my final answer:

God bless Upstate New York weather! I was just ready to break out into my nice outfits and flats in NYC before Upstate came calling. And that’s what I found….smh….Only till May…Only till May!

Moving on swiftly, I have a short story to tell. Sit back and read it just like I have called it, a story.

Nehemiah got a leading from the Great One to go and rebuild the wall of Jerusalem. It had been in ruins for a while and that had been a sore spot for Nehemiah. He shared his vision with the people and was able to mobilize some of the youths to join him on the mission. However, two of those youths actually laughed when he shared his vision. Their names were Sanballat and Tobias. By their reasoning and from their perspectives, Nehemiah and the mobilized were on Mission Impossible I. They scorned him, his idea and the people who believed in his dream. They even enumerated the reasons why it was an impossible task. Nehemiah was convinced in his mind that he had had the injunction of the Great One so he went ahead anyway. At the end of the day, a wall that was supposed to take about 3 years to build, took only 52 days. That is not the full story but for the purpose of this post, let’s end there.

When you have a vision, it is foolhardy to expect that everyone will believe in it. There will be one, two or more Sanballats and Tobiahs who will give you reasons why that dream can never see the light of day. 

Defense mechanism #1: Prepare for some naysayers.

What is worse than the naysayers is when you are the Sanballat and Tobiah of your own dream. 

Confused? Or you think this is impossible?

I like to think of myself as a very rational and realistic person, but I am soon realizing that most times, eventually, it comes off as being cynical and pessimistic. I have had several ideas to do things, both for my good and the good others, but killed the potential by over analyzing. 

I can feel the hackles of “realists” like me rising already. Do not get me wrong. By all means, still be realistic. Be aware of the pros and cons of your decisions. However, you still need to remember that you CAN"T PREEMPT EVERYTHING that can go wrong with it. As an extension, it is IMPOSSIBLE for you to mitigate against ALL possible mishaps. Even in statistics, there is never 100% confidence interval. It may be close but it is never 100%. 

One of the characteristics of entrepreneurs is their ability to take risks. Remember this scientist (who I can’t remember) who experimented 1000 times (I think) before he got it right? You really think he didn’t despair at some point?

He sure must have. The important thing though is that his outlook and definition of failure is different. The 1000 times of not getting it right to him was just 1000 ways of not getting results. The higher your fear of failure, the lower your chances/tendencies to be innovative and creative and to take initiative.

So what if you don’t get it right?! On to the next, babe! Or maybe just like the scientist, back to the drawing board! Be less of a Sanballat and Tobiah to yourself. GET UP from your mat and DO SOMETHING! You never know!

By the way, am I the only one who thinks Asu Ekiye is aging into a more and more good looking South South Prince? Deng, that man looks good! Dance away your stress to this visually and audibly rich song:

Till I pay my next rent on this space,

Forget! This Space = Eniye!

By the way, today/tomorrow….02/04….makes 4 years that I met YY. I feel so blessed to be a part of that young man’s life. Say a word of prayer for us when you can…..;)

I love you guys, I really do.